Hello Simmons.

by MTN on Nov 28, 2008 10:00 AM MST

Say that the way Jerry says, "Hello Newman."

The self-important driveler whose only criteria for judging ball-players is their potential celebrity has done it again.

In the opening of the article he gives a backhanded complement to the Jazz for being so durable and deep in the absence of Deron Williams over the first month of basketball.

Then he buries this tidbit:

9. Is there a dumber argument in sports than "Chris Paul or Deron Williams"?

I argued before the season, passionately, that Paul was in a different league and earned myself a few death threats from the Salt Lake City area. (You stay classy, Utah.) Check out their 2009 stats through four weeks:

• Paul: 20.5 PPG, 12.2 APG, 2.9 steals, 52.3% FG, 85.6% FT.
• Williams: 7.5 PPG, 8.0 APG, 0.0 steals, 26.7% FG, 66.7% FT.

I mean, that's a landslide! Come on! Can we all agree to stop arguing about this?

I know he knows Deron has been out ALL SEASON with an injury. Those stats are on one leg so far. And if dishing 15 against the Grizz in his warm-up return isn't foreshadowing triumph, then I'll eat my diploma in English lit.

Imagine if The Sports Gal judged Simmons' bedroom capabilities RIGHT AFTER he watches one of his teen celebrity movies under a blanket with a box of tissues. I can see him now: "No, honey, wait for a while, wait for a while... I'm just barely getting back, give me some time!"

Let's give Deron a few weeks to get his legs back and then make a comparison to Paul's year.

All comments are the opinion of the commenter and not necessarily that of SLC Dunk or SB Nation.

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Comments

Ha Ha. That was seriously below the belt. Way to go. Totally apropos.

The more you try to erase me, the more that I appear.

by clarkpojo on Nov 28, 2008 10:47 AM MST reply actions

I'll say it again...

Bill Simmons knows nothing about Point Guards.

He makes it sound as if the comparison is absurd when a quick glance at last years stat-line proves otherwise.

Via Basketball-reference.com:

Deron Williams

Chris Paul

Check out the FG% and the 3PT%

Cuba Si! Yanqi No!

by Patrick517 on Nov 28, 2008 1:48 PM MST reply actions

check out

assists and rebounds and steals and turnovers and points and PER. paul is a better player. it really is that simple. williams has outplayed paul head to head, but over the course of a season, it isn’t close. paul is a top 3 player in the nba. williams is probably top 10. he’s a spectacular player; he is. he just isn’t chris paul.

heart of a champion, will of the warrior.

by cap'n hack on Nov 30, 2008 11:22 AM MST up reply actions

The numbers aren't really that lopsided

and after you factor in D-Will’s superior defense I’d call it a wash. Williams has more offensive-minded players around him than does Paul which could factor into Paul’s inflated statistics. If I had to pick one or the other to win me one game in a life or death scenario, I’d go with Williams. If I wanted to win a fantasy match-up, I’d go with Paul.

Grammar is not a time of waste

by Patrick517 on Nov 30, 2008 12:40 PM MST up reply actions

playing with better players

doesn’t generally give point guards worse numbers. certainly not worse assist numbers, which are pretty lopsided in paul’s favor. and they definitely don’t add to your turnovers, which is another clear edge for paul. the only thing that might be boosting his numbers is that the high screen and roll that the hornets run is nearly impossible to stop. which, seems like it might have more to do with paul being an amazing player with a system that is catered to him than the guys around him inflating his stats. if williams was as good as paul, utah’s system might run through him a bit more. your comment was the first time i have ever heard of someone calling cp3’s numbers ‘inflated’.

i really don’t see williams’ defense as THAT much better. he might be a better defender, but certainly not good enough to make up for the drubbing that paul gives him offensively. paul dominates the games he plays in and williams is generally the best player on the floor. that’s no knock on williams, but be real here. if you were starting a franchise, you’d have to take paul. the difference is that paul will go down as one of the best point guards of all time and williams will go down as one of the best of his generation.

i think i’ll call it at that, not because i’ve made conclusive points or convinced anyone, but because i think i might be kind of a jerk for starting a cp3 – d will argument on a jazz blog. particularly considering i’m not even a hornets fan. all the best, and hopefully williams will be back at full strength soon for you guys. i better get back to moping about the warriors lost season…

heart of a champion, will of the warrior.

by cap'n hack on Nov 30, 2008 1:26 PM MST up reply actions

No offense taken.

I’ll continue digging in my heels on the side of D-Will.

Grammar is not a time of waste

by Patrick517 on Nov 30, 2008 4:26 PM MST up reply actions

while i thought clark's letter was excellent and LOLed at MTN's comparison

i still say that we should all just ignore him and let him go back to making up letters from “jazz fans”

by making that particular statistical comparison, he was obviously trying to get attention because he knows how many holes there are in it.

if he stops getting attention for his purposefully inflammatory statements, he’ll lose interest in making them—much like the screaming kid that stops screaming if everyone ignores him.

by moni on Nov 28, 2008 5:10 PM MST reply actions

it was a joke.

a stupid joke, beneath his usually quite humorous standards. (MTN’s was much funnier.) But he knows he’s just being dumb now. He made that comparison specifically because he knew only Jazz fans would notice that those stats are based on two injury-affected games, and that it would rile us up. He’s like the kid in fifth grade who acts out just because he wants attention, and the only way to stop him from being annoying is to stop giving it to him.

"SHOCK THE WORLD!! AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!"

by Shums on Nov 28, 2008 5:25 PM MST reply actions

When I read the column

He had zeroes all the way across. I emailed him asking if in his lame attempt at whatever he was trying to do, that he was aware Deron had played in two games. I don’t know if that’s what got it changed or not, but he didn’t even have stats when it was first up.

SLCDunk.com, The Utah Jazz on SBNation

by Basketball John on Nov 28, 2008 5:52 PM MST reply actions

hmm

see, that’s interesting. If he had stuck with that, it would have been much more obvious that it was a joke, because most NBA fans know D-Will has been hurt, but most probably don’t know that he did play in two games. That would have made it funnier, even if it was technically inaccurate. By changing it to include the two games, he makes it look, to the casual, non-Jazz-fan observer, like he’s being serious, and the joke loses its humor.

"SHOCK THE WORLD!! AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!"

by Shums on Nov 28, 2008 6:10 PM MST up reply actions

Now I feel dumb

I guess if he was being ironical, then I missed it. As for the aforementioned English lit degree, I’ll see if I can get my money back.

Pants Off, Game On!

by MTN on Nov 28, 2008 8:05 PM MST reply actions

I missed the irony too, obviously, but

it really isn’t irony he is using, because his normal argument is that Williams and Paul shouldn’t be compared, so if he is making a statement that is supposed to be ironic or “use a verbal statement that is not consistent with one’s true intent” then he would make the opposite argument. And my letter to Simmons wasn’t as much to point out that stupid part as it was to show him how Jazz fans might logically think Williams is better than Paul, because Williams is a much more versatile defender. I will stand by that.

The more you try to erase me, the more that I appear.

by clarkpojo on Nov 28, 2008 9:04 PM MST reply actions

Truth.

"SHOCK THE WORLD!! AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!"

by Shums on Nov 28, 2008 9:22 PM MST up reply actions

I'm recing this for this line alone

Imagine if The Sports Gal judged Simmons’ bedroom capabilities RIGHT AFTER he watches one of his teen celebrity movies under a blanket with a box of tissues. I can see him now: “No, honey, wait for a while, wait for a while… I’m just barely getting back, give me some time!”

No mistakes in the tango, darling. Not like life. It's simple. That's what makes the tango so great. If you make a mistake, and get tangled, you tango on

by pookeyguru on Nov 29, 2008 9:32 AM MST reply actions