Ball Don't Lie is doing a series that "attempts to answer one of life's greatest questions: If the Beijing Olympics were just for NBA players, who would win gold?"
So far, Jazz medalists include:
Harping (Gold) for floor gymnastics:
To be a world class gymnast one must possess strength, balance, stamina, versatility, and above all else, a willingness to look silly. Fortunately, those exact same qualities are required of a backup swingmen in Jerry Sloan's Jazz system. Harpring's workout is the stuff of legend, and his surprising agility will come in handy as he frolics to-and-fro around the mat. Plus, he kinda looks like Paul Hamm.
Fess (Silver) in the pole vault (mainly because he's Ukranian:
Jarron and Jason Collins (Bronze) for synchronized swimming, duet:
DWill and CP (Bronze) for table tennis:
AK (Gold) for trampoline:
The Russian's aerodynamic haircuts, long, lean body, and bird-like tendencies prove that AK47 is a natural on the trampoline. Sure, Kirilenko will look like Kano tumbling through the air, arms and legs akimbo; however, if you're wondering why he hasn't taken his wife up on her "once-a-year" offer it's because he's been practicing his trampolining in backyards across the nation.