Who is up for some more All-Star rapping?

A couple of weeks ago moni posted a great youtube shot of the 1989 all star game intros that is worth checking out if you haven't yet.  I just thought that a rap had to be written about the current all stars from last year's game, so I got out the old pen and paper and came up with some rhymes of my own.  Drop the appropriate beat while reading and hopefully enjoy.  Here are the East All-Stars, with the West All-Stars soon to come.

Jason Kidd- If you stare at a computer, you might get eye strain.  Quiet on the set, Kidd’s got a fake migraine.  He soured New Jersey, but that was just the first town.  Dallas bet the farm, so they could lose in the first round.  Cause he’s an all-star.

Dwyane Wade- D-Wade is no joke just like anorexia.  Whoever came up with his name has dyslexia.  He slices and dices like a gourmet chef.  He’s an NBA champ, he got some help from the refs.  Cause he’s an All-Star.

Kevin Garnett-  Sam Cassell looks like ET, that’s not all I’m sayin’, cuz Kevin Garnett looks like the bad guys from Alien.  Tom Brady likes the football; it’s much more tossable.  But KG got his ring, because ANYTHING IS POSSIBLE!!!  And he’s an All-Star.

Lebron James-  Lebron James, full of fortune and fame, is he really a king, or just a royal pain?  Let the bidding begin, may the best team win.  Come 2010, he’s gonna leave Cleveland.  Cause he’s an All-Star.

Dwight Howard- Dwight Howard.  Big power.  He’s bigger than a tower.  I would call him a sissy, but I’m a really big coward.  It’s a bird.  It’s a plane. It’s D-Howard down the lane.  And then he dunks it.  Hard.  Cause he’s an All-Star.

Ray Allen- Sweet stroking the three, the purest shot in the league.  He looks a lot like Mos Def, but that might just be me.  He’s got game.  That movie’s lame.  But he’s an All-Star.

Chauncey Billups- Sure he’s got buck teeth, but he’s Mr. Big Shot.  He can drive to the hole.  Lindsay Lohan is hot.  Well, at least before pot.  And she’s seems like a snot.  I forgot about Chauncey, but the NBA did not.  Cause he’s an All-Star.

Chris Bosh-My favorite spice girl is Posh, my favorite Raptor is Bosh, I’m not much into cuss words, my favorite swear word is Gosh.  Cause Bosh is an All-Star.

Caron Butler- With a name like “tough juice”, he’s the toughest kid around.  Remember when the lakers traded Butler for a dud named Kwame Brown?  And Brown just rode the bench, but the irony- is that the Lakers are looking for toughness from their 3.  And Kwame’s not an All-Star.

Richard Hamilton- You don’t need to ask, he doesn’t really need the mask.  But it’s become a part of him, he’ll prob’ly wear it in his cask.  Motown is still groovin’ cuz the guy won’t stop movin’, when you get an ouchy, Rip’s got a shot that’s soothin’.  And he’s an All-Star, baby.

Antawn Jamison-If you want to upset him, you can call him an elf then.  Antawn was an All-Star because each team needs a 12th man.  The East was the Least.  Bread rises with yeast and the next best player was as good as Adam Keefe.  So Jamison’s an All-Star.

Joe Johnson-  Playing as an All-Star must have felt like a dream, cuz Johnson might not even be the best player on his team.  But some days I still wonder-if Johnson thinks it a blunder-to leave the high flying suns for a team going under?  But not as under as the team that now goes by the thunder.  Cuz, he’s an All-Star.

Paul Pierce- The Lakers called him a faker, just like Ferris Bueller and Paul Pierce grows facial hair like a middle schooler.  Shaq dubbed him the truth, Sloth likes Baby Ruth, the 2008 finals has all of the proof.  Cuz he’s an All-Star.

Rasheed Wallace- He’s a threat from inside and out on the three, but don’t get him upset or, “$#*% and you better not $%^#    like    !@#$  and don’t forget that I   $%*#$&.  Cause he’s an all-star.