A Dear John letter for the Utah Jazz
by clarkpojo on Jan 27, 2009 10:33 PM MST
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PrintDear Utah Jazz,
I don't know where to even start. We both know that things have been awkward lately. And we seem to be growing apart. You know I love you, but I just don't know how long I can do this. I am not getting any younger, ya know?
It's just that you promised things would change. You promised that things would be different this time around. But they just aren't. Where did the passion in our relationship go? You only need to look in the mirror to see the answer.
The bottom line, Utah Jazz, is that I've changed and you haven't. Maybe sometime down the road, it will be a little different. Maybe, if you see me on the street, or at a coffeeshop, we can exchange pleasantries and chat a minute. But the time for doting on you every minute is over. I've spent the better part of my years trying to please you, that I forgot that I need to look after myself. The good times used to outweigh the bad ones, but right now, the lows are just a little too low. This will be best for both of us. I can look into other things I have been wanting to accomplish with my life and you can take some time to figure out who you are, how you feel. You know how hard this is for me, so stay strong. Don't try to find me. You had your chance.
Sincerely,
Disappointed fan
All comments are the opinion of the commenter and not necessarily that of SLC Dunk or SB Nation.
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my letter goes like this:
dear jazz.
things have been sucky and unravelly lately and all the passion is gone and we are falling apart. but i can’t leave you because i still love you and it makes me hate myself that you have such a hold on me.
sincerely,
self-loathing fan
Dear Disappointed fan,
I heard your’e on the rebound, and I have a friend of mine I’d like to introduce you to. The Portland Trail Blazers. What words can I use to describe the PTB with that haven’t been said already? Young. Attractive. Talented. Hard Working. Good Character. Winners. The Blazers also have one of the best sbnation blogs around.
I’ve already set up a chance for you guys to get to know one another. How does Sunday, the 31st sound? Meet at the Rose Garden around 7. The Blazers will be the ones in the white jerseys.
northwestj
by northwestj on Jan 28, 2009 1:16 AM MST reply actions 1 recs
p.s.
Bring Williams.
"Only dunk and go to the defense." Rudy Fernandez
by Sabonis4Ever on Jan 28, 2009 3:01 AM MST up reply actions 1 recs
OMG!!!
thats just wrong
Man, we should forfeit before roy’s hammy explodes, knocking him into LMA’s ear who loses his balance and hits Greg’s knee… - HurraKane212
http://www.nba.com/news/miles_10_080919.html
Slam a guy when he's down
by telling him to come on Sunday, a day late.
Utah will be ok once A) they get healthy and B) the brutal part of the schedule is over. Really.
When I rule the world, everyone will know how to use Excel.
by jscot on Jan 28, 2009 3:05 AM MST up reply actions 1 recs
for all the talk about the Blazers
the jazz still scare the hell out of me, they really scared me tonight against the spurs
Man, we should forfeit before roy’s hammy explodes, knocking him into LMA’s ear who loses his balance and hits Greg’s knee… - HurraKane212
http://www.nba.com/news/miles_10_080919.html
Why?
Where they wielding knives or something? Did they have scary masks on?
"Only dunk and go to the defense." Rudy Fernandez
by Sabonis4Ever on Jan 28, 2009 4:13 AM MST up reply actions
they almost won the game
Man, we should forfeit before roy’s hammy explodes, knocking him into LMA’s ear who loses his balance and hits Greg’s knee… - HurraKane212
http://www.nba.com/news/miles_10_080919.html
the brutah part of the schedule is over when the season is over
the jazz’s last ten games:
new york (who the jazz can’t beat)
portland
denver
minnie
no
dallas
sa
gs
lac
lal
That's not exactly
like your last six games. I mean, you do have four back to backs in there, but at least two of them are at home. I count 4 sure wins at home (you will beat NY, this Blazers fan promises you that one) and 6 tough road games. You’ll steal one or two of those.
You might finish 5-5 over the last ten, which won’t be great, but it’s better than your last 6 games. You’ll have already locked down your playoff spot by then (Dallas and Phoenix will be racing to the bottom), and your guys will be rested from all the nice vacations they’ve had during the season.
You won’t win the division, but you’ll be very dangerous in the playoffs with everyone back.
When I rule the world, everyone will know how to use Excel.
Wait
Cancel that. What am I doing?
(Shift gears seamlessly, so no one notices.)
All Jazz fans should be horribly depressed. There is no one on your team worth having or supporting. No one. You are doomed. You won’t make the playoffs, and you probably will finish behind OKC. At which point, you will lose the lottery, too.
Stop attending games and buying jerseys. Inform the team that you won’t support them anymore unless they blow it up by trading Deron Williams and Millsap to Portland for Raef LaFrentz, Shavlik Randolph, and Kevin Pritchard’s collection of second round picks. Oh, demand that Jerry Sloan be fired, as well. Flex the muscles of fan power and get what you want.
Yeah, that’s it.
Love,
A Blazers Fan
When I rule the world, everyone will know how to use Excel.
When
will they get healthy though? It seems like it’ll be the end of February.
And then the schedule gets near impossible again in April.
What you guys went through
is really unfortunate.
Have to ask… how have Sonics fans (in general) moved on? Are they Thunder fans? Or Blazers fans? Or something else?
I think they're still Sonic fans
They’re just waiting for another team. The Bucks maybe?
by Basketball John on Jan 28, 2009 1:38 PM MST up reply actions
I'm a Blazer fan
and yeah, some Sonics fans are coming to the Blazers. It takes time to get through the five stages of grief. Let’s see, they’ve been through denial, anger, and bargaining, so they’re in depression right now. Acceptance will come in time.
HAHA!
Sincerely,
The Denver Nuggets.
I am the eggman...they are the eggman...I am the Mermaid...Goo Goo Gajoob!!!
I think that might be our first troll comment ever.
by Basketball John on Jan 28, 2009 10:12 PM MST up reply actions
yay!
I am the eggman...they are the eggman...I am the Mermaid...Goo Goo Gajoob!!!
by PosterNutbag on Jan 28, 2009 11:23 PM MST up reply actions
boo!
I am the eggman...they are the eggman...I am the Mermaid...Goo Goo Gajoob!!!
by PosterNutbag on Jan 28, 2009 11:23 PM MST up reply actions
Well I am glad I am just a jilted lover of the Jazz.
If I was a Denver fan, I would be depressed enough to probably kill myself.
The more you try to erase me, the more that I appear.
exactly!
I am the eggman...they are the eggman...I am the Mermaid...Goo Goo Gajoob!!!
by PosterNutbag on Jan 28, 2009 11:23 PM MST up reply actions
Dont kick the wounded lover while he's down
Brilliant post clarkpojo. I can identify but I almost feel like its a dear john to a wounded soldier fighting for your freedom in Iraq. You cant break up with a guy just cuz he lost feeling in his lower extremities fighting for you. Sure there won’t be much passion left in the relationship but true love gets past that…(at least I think). Anyways I think the Jazz will get feeling back and will be giving you the hot basketball loving you need in no time.
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