Recap: Utah Jazz @ Atlanta Hawks -- The Least Interesting Game In The World

by Shums on Dec 18, 2009 8:21 PM MST in Game Recaps Comment 4 comments

So I’m sitting on my couch and someone knocks at the door. Not the main door to my apartment. The door that leads out to my front deck. The front deck that is situated about fifteen feet above the ground floor. HOW DID SOMEONE GET TO MY FRONT DECK AND KNOCK ON MY DOOR.

… then I realized that the deck connects to the other side of my duplex. Turns out this dude came over to visit my roommate but entered the wrong side of the house, thus showing up on my front deck.

This incredibly boring story is brought to you purely to underscore how UTTERLY AWFUL this game was. By comparison, that story was friggin' Shakespeare.

Seriously, there was nothing to see here after about the first quarter. The Jazz opened the game poorly, with bad spacing, lazy ball movement, careless passes (Boozer had three turnovers in the first quarter alone) and settling for long jumpers -- again. While the Hawks started hot and quickly cooled off, the four-point lead at the end of the first would be all they needed.

From then on, it was a comedy of errors on the part of the boys in blue, culminating in a dismal 37-17 third quarter that had the Hawks up by 30 points. Josh Smith led the way with a Kirilenko-esque* stat line of 16 points, 8 rebounds, 5 assists, 5 steals and 2 blocks.

*By "Kirilenko-esque" I am here referring to the times when Kirilenko was, you know, a good basketball player.

One night after appearing on national television and hearing Kenny Smith and Charles Barkley call him the best point guard in the NBA. Deron Williams put up this line: 2 points on 1-8 shooting, 4 assists, 3 rebounds, 2 steals, 4 turnovers and a +/- rating of -36 in 21 minutes. If he's ever had a worse game as a professional, I can't remember it.

The fourth quarter was probably the most entertaining part of the game for Jazz fans, as a lineup of Eric Maynor, Wesley Matthews, Ronnie Price, Andrei Kirilenko and Kyrylo Fesenko looked like the only players with "Utah" on their chests who gave a crap.

Of course, by then, the conversation in the Game Thread had turned away from the basketball game and onto such thrilling topics as "Peanuts: Not Actually Nuts At All" and "I Have Too Many Vowels On My Scrabble Rack."

Honestly, there may be other insights to glean from this game, but I don't have the energy to try right now. I'm serious. I had observations in the first half. At least I think I did. I mean, there they are in the Game Thread, with my name beneath them and everything, but the rest of the game was so boringly depressingly terrible that I think it deprived me of my ability to remember things I actually said.

The good news: we can bounce back tomorrow night in Charlotte. In the words of Wesley: You have until midnight. Then it's time to get over it and move on.

Peachtree Hoops

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this recap fit the game perfectly

if you ask me, the problem is that the jazz are way to good at “getting over it” and “moving on.” hence, why we get comedy of error redux time and time again.

by moni on Dec 18, 2009 8:47 PM MST reply actions

Dang...

seems like I missed out on a fun game thread. I guess that’s what happens when
1- We have people over and spend the night watching movie trailers
2- the NBA starts losing its appeal.

I should find a way to the game thread every game, I guess…

Free Fesenko!
RIP Nick Adenhart. 4/9/09
True Blue Jazz
I'm on Twitter

by UtesFan89 on Dec 19, 2009 10:06 AM MST reply actions

I was actually more interested in your story than I was that game last night. That was horrible.

The Jazz have to be one of the most bipolar teams in the NBA. I can understand an embarrassing loss or two, that happens to every NBA team. But when you have as many as the Jazz it makes you wonder what kind of team we have. We are definitely not a top caliber team. Top-tier teams don’t have a losing road record. They also don’t have as many embarrassing losses. One or two is acceptable but we aren’t even half way through the season and the Jazz already have a handful to choose from:

Nov. 7th home loss to the Kings. Jazz were blown out of the game before the 4th even started.

Nov. 24th home loss to OKC Thunder. Another embarrassing home loss and another 3rd quarter where they got blown out. Game was over before the 4th even started.

Dec. 5th road loss to Minnesota. Nothing like giving arguably the worst team in NBA history their 3rd win of the season.

Dec. 9th road loss to Lakers. A road loss to the Lakers usually ain’t embarrassing unless you put up 6 points in the 4th quarter. This game broke the mold. Usually in a Jazz loss the Jazz get killed in the 3rd quarter. This time it was the 4th, although we were following the trend with a weak 3rd quarter.

Dec. 14th home loss to the mother *beep*ing T-Wolves. Nothing needs to be said about giving the T-Wolves their 4th win of the season. This loss follows the trend, another 3rd quarter collapse (27-17).

Dec. 18th road loss to Hawks. Hawks are playing great this year, but when the 3rd quarter turns into an Atlanta Hawks highlight reel it gets embarrassing. This followed the trend, the Jazz got beat by 20 points in the 3rd quarter! (37-17)

Something is up with the 3rd quarter. That is the make or break quarter for us. Usually a strong 3rd quarter means a win. A bad 3rd quarter will usually equal a loss. It’s been the trend the last couple of years. I don’t get it. The 3rd quarter is when you are supposed to make the adjustments needed and not get blown out. I think Sloan needs some blame on this, but how much?? I don’t know?

And I agree with moni, Jazz are too good at “moving on”. But apparently not good enough as we get that same quote after every loss.

by P_Dizzle on Dec 19, 2009 10:17 AM MST reply actions