Presenting SLC Dunk's First-Ever Recap in Song (Utah vs. NO)

by moni on Jan 5, 2010 12:54 AM MST

Direct link in case the player doesn't work for you: Nobody Ever Shut It Down Like You

Lyrics:
(to the tune of Alicia Keys' "Try Sleeping with a Broken Heart"; bolded parts are original lyrics)
Preseason injury took CJ Miles away
Season went downhill from there
Strained back, broken hand, busted knee
And even at the bottom of the sea
I can still see wins blown this year
Even though, game tapes, you study...
And all the time you were tellin' me lies, hey
So tonight, I'm gonna find a way to make it without you
Tonight, I'm gonna find a way to make it without you
Gonna hold on to Stockton-to-Malone, tonight
I'm gonna find a way to make it without you
Have you ever tried playing through an injury
And have you ever tried guarding your man
'09-'10, Utah Jazz, nobody ever shut it down like you
You wear the crown
You make my heart feel Hades-bound
Why don't you get a T
Jerry, I thought you told me
We'd be playing D
Looking at the court, I see empty seats
And I know right where I fit in
I hate, myself, you know that I'll always be in love with you
Right til the end
So tonight, when you find a way to redefine crap
and lose to the Peskies and their mom
Gonna hold on to Stockton-to-Malone, tonight
Futility, thy name is, Utah Jazz
Anybody could've told you right from the start
It's about to fall apart
That's what happens when you have no heart
and keep mailing it in
Memo Booze Kyle Ronnies Deron
AK CJ Sap
I'm addressing all yall tonight
(So tonight, when they) dunk on you, and Boozer's yelling
"Get it Memo!", I'll be trying not to scream
Gonna hold on to Stockton-to-Malone, tonight
I'm gonna find a way to make it without you
STOP sucking
Stop sucking
Boozer's not gonna get a raise regardless, I want old AK back and his hair, play Fes, I've had enough, I need therapy...

I apologize in advance for:

1) my voice--the key of the song is a little high for my range (or lack of);
2) the quality of the audio--I have no equipment or know-how to make this sound better

Tweet Comment 10 comments | 3 recs |

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Comments

Song

LMAO

http://usershare.net/uvwhw203g8t3

Bumped up the volume for ya.

by W.I.L. on Jan 5, 2010 1:59 AM MST reply actions

thanks for the technological assistance ;-)

and welcome to the dunk

by moni on Jan 5, 2010 5:54 PM MST up reply actions

If I could rec this more than once, I would.

Uh, do you think you could draw me like a ninja?
SLCDunk.com: Bringing you ninjas, The KOOFs and anti-jinxes since 2008.

by Shums on Jan 5, 2010 2:41 AM MST reply actions

Brilliant

Best. Recap. Ever.

SLCDunk.com, The Utah Jazz on SBNation

by Basketball John on Jan 5, 2010 7:07 AM MST reply actions

Nice!

Just the remedy I needed. Thanks!!!

"He is STUPID but he knows that he is STUPID and that almost makes him smart."

by LoWBlok on Jan 5, 2010 8:10 AM MST reply actions

that should replace "Scream Utah!" as this year's theme song

by bigdog'sshades on Jan 5, 2010 8:14 AM MST reply actions

BRAVO!

Encore!

I think you should record this in a studio, give it to the sound guy at the ESA and have him play it after every FAIL!

by UtonganKidInCali on Jan 5, 2010 9:51 AM MST reply actions

WOW...

I agree, this should be played for every loss, especially the home losses.

"Left hand, right hand, it doesn't matter. I'm amphibious." - Charles Shackleford
"If the NBA were on channel 5 and a bunch of frogs making love were on channel 4, I'd watch the frogs, even if they were coming in fuzzy." - Bobby Knight
"We have a great bunch of outside shooters. Unfortunately, all our games are played indoors." - Weldon Drew

by LACK on Jan 5, 2010 11:57 AM MST reply actions