I am starting a campaign, and I ask for your support.
No, I am not running to be elected for office, I am not a crook and therefore I have no business being in politics.
My campaign is a campaign for all Jazz fans to rally around. It is something we can believe in. It is our duty to take care of this business.
I have chosen to start this tonight, even though we are nearly two and a half months away from this event. I believe it will take that long to reach every Jazz fan and that is why I ask for your help!
On February 9, an event occurs which we have all been waiting for. That is, the triumphant (ha!) return of Carlos Boozer to Energy Solutions Arena.
My campaign is this; when his name is read in the starting lineup, I want the nearly 20,000 fans to laugh, laugh hysterically. Each time he touches the ball, the laughing should continue.
Our beloved Carlos has two things working against him. He is an egomaniac and he is delusional. If we “boo”, he will take that as a compliment. If we yell profanity, it makes us look bad and besides, swearing at a player is so cliché, so been-there-done-that, so 1999. Its about as effective as telemarketing to the homeless.
Has anyone ever tried laughing? I mean really? What would that do to a player? Every NBA player has had people boo and swear at them. How many have had 20,000 laugh at them?
This guy claimed that he felt a real bond to us, let’s show him just how connected we still are.
On February 9, exercise your freedom by choosing to laugh your head off.
My name is Big Ben, and I approve this message.