Kanter Compared to Former Jazz Centers

This a post from RealGm listing former Jazz centers. Read the list, and then think about how hard it's been for the Jazz to get a decent center.

Here's a list of former Jazz centers, and a faux quote from them explaining something about their time in Utah. Kanter is better than almost all of them already and he just got his uniform on Thursday.

There are a lot of great memories here.

Luther Wright ("Hey man, you know where I am?")

Goran Sutton ("That f**king Sloan cut me in the preseason!")

James Donaldson ("Ouch, that hurts. I'm too old for this s**t!")

Walter Palmer ("I went to Dartmouth. I'm the best center ever from Dartmouth. Who cares if I only played 48 games in my career!")

Curtis Borchardt ("I'm fine. My foot is fine. I think I'll sit out my rookie year until I'm sure I'm fine.")

Mike Brown ("I'm the Brown Bear. Bears like hot dogs so I bought a couple of hot dog stands. Eat hot dogs, lots of hot dogs!")

Alan Banister ("I was voted one of the 5 worst centers of all time, but, and this is an important but, I was better looking than Chuck Nevitt.")

Eric Leckner (Okay, maybe I only had one NBA season where I averaged 5 pts a game. What do you expect? I went to Wyoming where I learned to love the rodeo! Yahoo!!')

Dan O'Sullivan ("Five different teams in five years averaging 2 pts a game, so what!")

Jose Ortiz ("My biggest regret was during my two years with the Jazz some fans made fun of my nickname, Piculin. I was called Priculin and other bad stuff. Man, that hurt!")

Olden Polynice ("I was only arrested a few times--assault with a gun twice, impersonating a cop twice, assaulting a guy on a golf course and chasing a female prosecutor down the hall. What's the f**king big deal. I went to my 'cognitive restructure therapy' classes. I got my cognitive restructured! Hey, anybody want to steal a stereo?")

Kosta Koufos ("I am the greatest center ever from Greece to have played in the D-League. Now I only play 8 minutes a game in NBA. I'm saving myself. I'm engaged to a Kardashian--uh, well actually that's that guy Humphries, but I'm next for any other Kardashians!")

Jarron Collins ("I was a popular bench player with the Jazz for 8 years. I haven't been signed by anyone else, but hey I went to Stanford.")

Greg Foster ("I managed to stay in the league 13 years. I played in the two losing finals to Chicago. The Jazz didn't draft me, Washington did. I got my degree from UTEP in 2011!")


Melvin Turpin ("My fat ass got in the way of my 5 year long career. God, I love Ben and Jerry's! I'm the only Jazz center who ever committed suicide."

Darryl Dawkins ("I was so old by the time I got to the Jazz, my suits got more play than I did.")

John Amaechi ("I wrote a book explaining how much I wanted to f**kup Jerry Sloan!")

Rafael Arujo ("I like BYU and steroids. I'm glad the NBA didn't test for them because one two year international suspension was enough.")

Issac Austin ("Karl Malone was my big bro and I cried when the Jazz let me go, so did Karl. I played well for awhile and then The Xinjiang Flying Tigers loved me.")

Antoine Carr ("Most people don't know I'm the reason the Jazz almost beat Chicago twice in the finals--at least that's what I said about myself!")

Pat Cummings ("My four games with the Jazz were as impressive as the four points a game I scored. My f**ked up foot kept getting in the way.")

Todd Fuller ("Five teams five years. That ain't bad, is it?")

Mikki Moore ("Playing a year for the Jazz was the greatest experience of my life. In fact all the nine teams I played for were great experiences since they paid me.")

Paul Grant ("I don't know what some of these guys are bitching about. I only got to keep my Jazz uniform 15 days. Ah, sh*t!")

Kent Benson ("Most people don't know I'm one of the reasons Larry Bird left Indiana U and went to Indiana State. Bird still doesn't like me! When I was in Utah for a season, Sloan didn't bother me. I played college ball for the maximal a-h**e Bobby Knight.")

Felton Spencer ("I was a decent center on the Jazz for 3 years before I ruptured my Achilles. I only missed 59 games. You think that's easy, try it Memo.")

Robert Whaley ("I had a few problems hanging with D-Will in Park City. Then I got traded and lasted only 14 days with the Raptors. Later I was convicted of running a drug house. The NBA didn't appreciate me but the police do.")

Kyrylo Fesenko ("I never met a party I didn't like! I hope the Jazz resign me so I can afford to part-ta some more.")

Greg Ostertag ("I gave a kidney to my sister, got bitch slapped by Shaq, and wanted to whip Jerry Sloan's ass! I was better than all of those other guys.")
Improving on Ostertag shouldn't be a reach for Kanter since Shag is retired, Sloan is gone and his sister doesn't need a kidney.

Mehmet Okur ("I see myself as a 2 guard rather than a center. It gets all hot, nasty and violent up close to the net, so I avoid it as much as possible. Utah has been good to me, especially since I got hurt. They're going to give me $20 million, and I might not have to play another minute.")

Mark Eaton ("Nobody f**ked with me and got away with it. Just ask David Robinson. I'm in the Utah Sports Hall of Fame, and maybe the NBA Hall of Fame someday when defense gets respect.")

Eaton is the wild card. Kanter is likely to have a better offensive game, but he won't be close on defense. Only time will tell. Eaton was a game changing center that David Robinson said was the toughest guy in the NBA to play against. Let's hope that a few players say that about Kanter.

And let's hope Kanter is better than at least Ostertag.