Losing. I abhor it. It's disgusting. I can't stand it.
I understand that losing gives us those coveted ping pong balls for next year's draft, but "riggin' for Wiggins" or "jostlin' for Jabari" goes against everything that I believe in - it just feels dirty.
I understand that in the long run we're supposedly better-off, but it's like finding caffeinated cola on the campus of BYU - it's just a little off.
Don't get me wrong, if we earn all those platinum ping pong balls of good fortune, I hope the Jazz are able to get Jabari Parker (he's a better fit for this team in my humble opinion than Wiggins). That said, if we continue to lose and lose big, we as Jazz fans may need to do something to stay healthy while we tank.
You see, losing can affect your psyche.
Studies have been done on losing and how it affects the health of sports fans. That research shows that there is a "strong connection between the mind and the body." For instance, did you know that a defeat can lead to the "use of comfort eating as a coping mechanism". Further, the more passionate you are, the more likely you are to consume such foods as chicken wings, pizza, cake, cookies and ice cream after a defeat.
Losing can be bad for a fan physically and mentally. Losing can bring on "crabbiness, hopelessness, twitchiness [yes, twitchiness]...and general feelings of outrage and shame."
Why? Fans watch sporting events to "escape from daily stress." A loss by your team is internalized as your own loss - even though all you did was watch.
Another side effect of losing - lower testosterone. Yep, winning increases testosterone while losing decreases it.
And I haven't even touched on the fact that losing increases cardiac deaths among fans.
So while this post is a little tongue-in-cheek, it's clear that losing poses real health risks to us as Jazz fans. What are we to do?
First, vent to a trusted friend. Get those negative feelings off your chest, you don't have to bear these losses alone.
Second, to cure that twitchiness, go for a walk. "Stress and anger prompt a fight-or-flight reaction during which lactic acid builds inside the body's muscles unless they are moved, releasing it." Walking for 10 to 15 minutes or doing some other form of aerobic exercise will release that lactic acid.
Third, go for a healthy comfort food substitute. Carrot sticks "actually help calm anxious fans". Gnashing your teeth on carrot sticks gets those frustrations out while having the side effect of being good for you and lowering your caloric intake. Instead of having ice cream, substitute a nice fruit slushy.
Finally, think positive. Here's what I mean:
Yes, you are good enough, you're smart enough, and doggone-it people like you. Studies show that if you take some time and write down what is really important to you in your life, a loss can be put into perspective and the negative effects of defeat eliminated.
Now you are armed to combat the physical and psychological effects of defeat so if the Jazz continue tanking, you won't gain weight, jump off a building, go into cardiac arrest, or have to pop viagra.