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The Bafflement Report: Jazz Win Despite...

Watching games on NBA TV is very difficult for me.

I can't watch Jazz games locally because I'm not local. There are no sports bars in my town, so taking the train 6-7 stops to catch a Mountain Time game when I have to teach in the morning is nearly impossible. It's not impossible. It's just something about sitting at a bar until 12am when I have to teach high school seniors the next morning that seems heavily irresponsible.

My downstairs neighbor is a huge Knicks fan. As you can guess, I'm taking verbal punches from him every time I see him like he is Mike Tyson. Last night, he forfeited watching his precious Knicks so I could enjoy a Jazz win. He routed with my so hard last night that I told him that I hope the Knicks pulled out a W.

That's not easy for me. It hurt my soul a little.

Putting asides aside, here's the Bafflement Report from last nights game.

John Lucas da Turd

Why this guy is on our roster is believable. We're bad. He's bad. It's a match made in heaven, and by heaven I'm not talking Kubla Kahn's heavenly dome, I'm talking in the dome-piece that is Coach Corbin's. It's a perfect match because Corbin doesn't know how to evaluate players properly, or at all for that matter.

Garrett has been playing so well. Well, not too well. But he's better than da Turd. He orchestrates offense for others, something that is greatly lacking if Gordon Hayward doesn't have the ball. We need him on the court for the 16-22 minutes when Trey isn't on the court.

Corbin gonna Corb.

Basic Substitutions

With less than two minutes left, the Bulls went to the line. I looked at my neighbor and said, "Neighbor, if Corbin doesn't take out Derrick Favors, he's an idiot. Actually, neighbor, he's one anyway. It would just epitomize his idiocy."

Sure enough, Favors picked up his third foul off the second free throw's miss. I saw it coming from a mile away.

Now, I'm objective, at least subjectively I believe I am. This cannot be completely blamed on Corbin, since of course it was Derrick that committed the foul. So, shame, shame, Favors. I'm wagging my finger at you.

But I'm waving my open palm in the direction of Corbin here and I think it's deserved.

The coach's job isn't to go out on the court and execute the plays, rotate the defense like a chess master, or to knock down open shots. I get that. The coach's job is to put his team in the best possible scenarios to win games. They control the microcosms that make up the macrocosms. They can only control what they control and we can ask nothing else from them except that they assume that control like the sovereign leader of their team.

You have to take Favors out in this position because it doesn't hurt you in the long run. It's a low-risk, low-to-high reward to take him out. It's a high-risk, low-reward situation to leave him in the game.

Alec Burks

12 minutes, two points, one assists, two turnovers.

He cannot play. Or he's choosing not to. Or Corbin has stuffed his head full of so much nonsense that Alec is unable to overcome it. In year's past, I dreaded DNP Coache's Decision on the box score for him.

Now I dread when he's on the court.

Goberrrrrrrrrrrrrt

I love this kid. He's a kid. He's a monster. He's French. He's amazing. He hustles. He and Kanter should be splitting the minutes at the position 22-26 in favor of Kanter. He altered more shots in the paint last night than I can remember. He cleaned the glass.

The dude just plays!

All comments are the opinion of the commenter and not necessarily that of SLC Dunk or SB Nation.

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