I was ready to give up blogging. I told my fellow writers at SLC Dunk that I was finished. Blogging about the Jazz began to be a chore. Reading posts about the Jazz also felt like a chore, all the comments so angry and negative (rightfully so btw) were hard to read. Its been hard to be a Jazz fan and its been hard to want to write about this team this season.
When I began blogging about the Jazz my first effort was at Bleacher Report, it was fun, it didn't take much of my time, the team was doing well for the most part it just seemed like a fun thing to do since I spent so much time watching the Jazz.
From Bleacher Report I moved onto Jazzbots (which is now the defunked Utah Jazz 360). I enjoyed being a Jazzbot, posts were fun, light hearted, rah rah rah the Jazz are the best. We were free to write what we wanted to write, the Jazz did not tell us to be blind fans. The Jazz only told us that we couldn't get personal in our criticism of the team, like you know we couldn't call Deron a jerk or something like that but if we were upset we could write about those feelings.
The Jazz didn't tell me to be YAY THE JAZZ ARE THE BEST but that's how I felt (for the most part) and that's how I wanted to write. I wanted the Jazz to be a past time that made me happy, something fun to look forward to, something to to brighten my day.
Everyone knows how I have felt about the team since all the changes. There have been more ups than downs, there is no reason to harp on about those emotions though, we all have shared our opinions about the changes, the good, the bad and the ugly.
This season more than the last two has been hard for me. There seems to be more discord between the fans and what the organization is selling us. I never remember feeling this way in the past and seeing so many fans and more and more fans all the time feel this way has been strange. I don't think its about fans wanting their way or wanting to be right.
I don't know what it is but over the last few days I have come to the realization as lame and obvious as it sounds that as a fan I can't do anything to change what KOC does, who Ty plays, or which players stay with the team. I have no control over anything the Jazz do, I only have control of how I want to be a fan.
Tonight I watched a movie about Pistol Pete. This movie: The Pistol: The Birth of a Legend made me think of the Jazz and the Core 4. At first the coach is reluctant to play Pete because he doesn't understand his style of play, Pete is too small, too young, too unconventional. The coach relies on his son and other vets who aren't as talented but play the way the coach thinks the game should be played. One game Pete is in for spot minutes and he makes this incredible pass, the coach, when Pete is called to the bench, asks Pete how he made a particular pass, how he knew that player was open. Pete responds I don't know I just knew. The coach after that moment begins to open up more to Pete. Anyways the movie goes on to show how Pete makes the game fun and how he makes the team better and more successful. The whole town gets behind Pete. The coach's son however is jealous and even has an opposing team player take little Pete out in a game. The coach had to deal with chemistry issues but he does it, Pete becomes an intergal part of the team.
I couldn't help but think of how Pete is a lot like our Core Four. We know the Core Four has more God-given talent than the starting vets on our team. We understand Ty has his reasons for playing the vets more over the past few years and even this year. The vets are like the older players on Pete's team. They have their place and of course they are needed.
The organization though spends their time marketing the Cour 4. They seem to be the direction of where the team is going so what is wrong with enjoying them now? When you attend a game at the ESA there is a night and day difference between when the starting lineup is in the game compared to the C4. They sell the jerseys, which makes the team money. They play hard every game and they make the game fun to watch. The Jazz community is getting behind the C4. They are a fun group to support, they are bringing fans together.
There has been talk that the fans ONLY support the C4, that is so far from the truth. It seems like others like to purposely pick on the C4 to stick it to us, I don't get that. I believe we want all our players to succeed, we want the team to win! When Big Al has a big dunk, I see Twitter explode. When Foye hits four 3's in a quarter all I see are EnFoygo tweets. Who doesn't love Millsap 3s? Miracle in Miami anyone? Of course we support our whole team!
I do think however the C4 is like Pistol Pete in that they bring the fun to the game more than most of our other players. They are fun to watch, there is nothing wrong with enjoying their game. I mean I favored watching John Stockton and Karl Malone over Jay Humphries and Larry Krystkowiak. Fans always chose favorites its part of the game, its part of the fun. It does not mean we don't want other players to succeed.
Lets have fun watching this team, its suppose to be fun its suppose to be entertainment.
Watching the movie tonight it was as if a ton of bricks hit me in the head saying DIANA THE GAME IS SUPPOSE TO BE FUN!!!!
I know I will never be able to change nor control what the Jazz do. KOC is going to draft who he wants, he will trade for the players he thinks best fit the team. Ty will continue to play who he thinks gives the team the best chance to win. Players will come and go without consulting me.
I will however always be a Jazz fan. I want to be a fun fan, a positive fan. I will be a fan the only way I know how. I know there will be ups and downs. I know I won't agree with everything the team does but I will not let it get me down. I will not feel how I felt the last few weeks. It is not worth it.
For example If Enes only gets 10 minutes will I be sad, yes but will I love those 10 minutes yes! I will focus on my reaction, my emotions. I will not focus on the anger, the sadness nor the aggravation.
I won't ever be a blind sheep fan, those are silly. I will be me and I want to be a happy fan!