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...and the Utah Jazz Select: No one.  Hurray?

With picks 14, 21, and 46, the Jazz can genuinely help themselves in their rebuilding process in tomorrow night's draft, because there are good players to be had. But just for fun, let's look at how the Jazz might have a great night without drafting anyone - at least for keeps...

The Jazz trade pick 14 for Thomas Robinson, pick 21 for Jimmer Fredette, and pick 46 for cash considerations. Robinson, projected as the 2nd pick in last year's draft by DraftExpress and following a traumatic year of playing basketball for the Sacreattle Kings then being traded to Houston to warm Dwight Howard's seat until he arrives, bears out his pre-draft reputation by becoming a bench beast for the Jazz, a physically superior version of young Paul Millsap. Meanwhile, Jimmer Fredette replicates Randy Foye's on court production in half the minutes (and off the bench) while selling out every home game as well as ten times the pink jerseys Kyle Korver ever moved. The cash helps assuage the Jazz front office enough that they don't commit communal seppuku when the team misses the playoffs by ten games.

OR

The Jazz trade picks 14 and 21 as well as Alec Burks for Michael Kidd-Gilchrist, as well as gambling pick 46 for Charlotte's 2014 first round pick. Kidd-Gilchrist magically develops a fair jump shot and becomes the second coming of Andrei Kirilenko (on HGH). Also, by daring Michael Jordan to a single hand of poker, the Jazz win the right to swap pick 46 for what eventually becomes the first pick in 2014, also known as Andrew Wiggins.

OR

The Jazz trade picks 14 and 21 and Jeremy Evans for Luol Deng, then sell pick 46 to purchase ten year's worth of pain medication. Deng plays well on both ends of the court for another ten years through seven broken limbs, two flesh eating diseases, and a shattered spine, all while missing only three games. The Jazz's younger players are so shamed by their mortal weaknesses that they each play every game in six out of the next seven seasons.

OR

The Jazz trade picks 14, 21, and 46 along with Derrick Favors and Jeremy Evans for Kevin Love. The inner-team rebounding rivalry that ensues between Love and Kanter results in the only season in NBA history in which a team gives up less than 2 offensive rebounds a game and scores half its points on the offensive glass.

OR

The Jazz trade pick 14 for Derrick Williams, pick 21 for Alexey Shved, and pick 46 for Rick Adelman. Williams learns it's easy to get good shots off others' play with two star bigs beating the crap out of everyone, especially when Shved proves to be the true Ricky Rubio (while Ricky Rubio proves to be the second coming of Raul Lopez). Realizing that the Timberwolves are indeed cursed after Kevin Love breaks his pelvis sipping wheatgrass through a curly straw (after Minnesota refuses to deal him to Utah), Adelman refuses to coach the team any longer and instead accepts a trade to Utah, where he becomes an assistant coach.

OR

The Jazz trade picks 14 and 21, along with a 2015 1st round pick, for Rajon Rondo, and pick 46 for a behavior modification program played while one sleeps. The newly sweetened Rondo wins three league sportsmanship awards while averaging fourteen assists a game while Danny Ainge somehow turns the Celtics 3 first round picks in 2015 into his life's ambition, the trade that eventually brings Big Al Jefferson back home to Boston.

OR

The Jazz trade picks 14 and 21 as well as Alec Burks to the Clippers for Eric Bledsoe, and gift pick 46 to Donald Sterling. Bledsoe becomes a reincarnation of Gary Payton, even though Payton is not yet dead, while the condolence gift of pick 46 at losing his team (and manhood) to his star, Chris Paul, light a fire under Sterling, who returns to his true self, selling off all his players for odd change and food stamps, allowing the Jazz to purchase the rights to Blake Griffin for the price of a Geo Metro with no Carfax report available.

The possibilities are almost endless!

While these hypotheticals are somewhat silly (and fun!), the core of them may not be. It's strange that the 2013 draftees, besmirched as the worst line up of basketball talent since the Space Jam crew lost their skillz, has so many teams open to trading established talent for picks. The Jazz's best move tomorrow night might not be to draft the right guy, but to get the right guy in return for giving up the right to draft.


All comments are the opinion of the commenter and not necessarily that of SLC Dunk or SB Nation.

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