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The Bafflement Report: "Lantics" and Hypocrisy Edition

The following rant is brought to you by my disgust for the Lance Stephenson archetype:.

As basketball fans, we're not at all prone to the influence of sports media. If you're like me, you read and watch most things basketball so that you can so you can form a first-hand opinion from second-hand information because it's the most proper way to know things. It may seemed double-edged that writers get paid to write even when there's nothing to report on because it inevitably does two things: 1--it puts all news on the same level of importance and thus erases the previous day's news; and 2, it influences the way we think because we interpret and make sense of our world through sight, sound, and feeling. But it's not double-edged even if it seems this way.

We know that we're exempt to forming basketball opinions unless it's taste- or scent-based.

Following logical if-then ideas, we also know that what has been said on this site about Lance Stephenson is not at all a complete product of the media's collective job to pick up the day's news and run with it in whatever direction brings in stead cash flow. Those guys aren't making money anyway, so there goes that argument.

What is being said comes from one place only: first-hand, non-media influenced experience.

And the non-naysayers on Lance Stephenson would try to talk about his defense, his 14 points on 11 shots a night, his seven rebounds, his four assists per game. They might even try that crap about being frequently asked to guard the other team's best player while maintaining significant ball handling duties. Not buying it, people.

My response is this: Lance Stephenson is a Cancer.

He sure is. I've been in the Pacers locker room as much as you and seen it. Just yesterday, as I was exiting the private team bus exclusively for Pacers personnel and players, Lance was up to his antics blowing softly on teammates' necks, tickling Frank Vogel in personal and unmentionable areas, quoting Isaiah Thomas' racist comments about Larry Bird with a sneer on his face, and laughing his ass off at Evan Turner for being a bust that sort of looks like Boris Diaw--a French guy.

He's a rude thug up to no good, so don't give me that competitor and doesn't-quit bullshit. He's a complete Rodman-esque nutcase and I, like you, have seen first-hand what should be dubbed "Lantics," is undoubtedly the cause of the Pacers collapse.

I won't lie to any of you well-informed, Pacers locker-room dwellers who have been, like me, actively watching the tumor spread throughout the locker room and the virus spread to the court. I think, like you, Larry Bird might be the stupidest basketball player of all time who mainly had to rely on his supreme athleticism and charming personality to become an NBA star. The guy probably has the lowest basketball IQ of any player to have ever been considered one of the greatest 10 players of all time.

His comment, considering how stupid Larry Bird is, on "Lantics" gives us a clear insight into one player the Utah Jazz should stay away from : "I always want him back. You just don't let talent like that walk away if you can help it."

Let them keep him and his antics.



All comments are the opinion of the commenter and not necessarily that of SLC Dunk or SB Nation.

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