[Ed note. Wow. I hope that was good for you too. The "Free Trial" is 25 clicks. What the heck . . . ?]
[Ed. note #2 -- Don't bother clicking on that thing. The draft is taking place in the game thread comments like usual.]
Clearly I have no idea what I am doing. But at the very least, we'll be doing it together. And that's what matters.
| Team | Player | School | Position | Comment | |
| 1 | New Orleans Hornets | Anthony Davis | Kentucky | PF/C | | : ) |
| 2 | Charlotte Bobcats | Bradley Beal | Florida | SG | Not quite Jessica |
| 3 | Washington Wizards | Thomas Robinson | Kansas | PF | "Tweener" |
| 4 | Cleveland Cavaliers | Michael Kidd-Gilchrest | Kentucky | SF | MKG |
| 5 | Sacramento Kings for Dallas Mavs |
Harrison Barnes | North Carolina | SF | traded for Odom's rights |
| 6 | Portland Trail Blazers | Andre Drummond | UConn | PF/C | Instantly disintegrates. |
| 7 | Golden State Warriors | Austin Rivers | Duke | PG/SG | Whuuut? |
| 8 | Toronto Raptors | Damian Lillard | Weber St. | PG | Traded to Phx |
| 9 | Detroit Pistons | Jeremy Lamb | UConn | SG | I will stay at my house for the first month of the season |
| 10 | New Orleans Hornets | Anthony Davis' twin sister | Kentucky ? | Little girl | Two eyebrows. |