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Jazz Fan Project: Brainstorm better nicknames for our players

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This is still the only shot we have of our shooting guard -- him playing bad defense . . .
This is still the only shot we have of our shooting guard -- him playing bad defense . . .

Remember when Craig Bolerjack called Milt Palacio "Cap'n Crunch" because of that one time he didn't screw up in crunch time? Or how some other dude calls Jeremy Evans "Boingy" or the "Human Pogostick". These are horrible nick names. I'm glad I call Evans "Elevator" (you all know I made that up on twitter 2 years ago). You real Utah Jazz fans have better names for all of our guys than the media does. Heck, if Karl Malone didn't come to the Jazz with a name they probable would have called him "The Birthday Parade Man" or something equally ridiculous. We need better nick names for our players. Why? Because our announcing crew has given us little choice in the matter because the names they suggest are silly, uninspired, and they should just stick to using their real names -- but they can't even get that right, right Erick Burkovich?

Let's brain storm these!

And let's not just limit it to names, but also phrases (like the Up-an-Under-Kanter signature move). I've already resigned myself to saying "The Luck O' The Irish" whenever Kevin Murphy does something crazy. (Which for our team, probably means checks into a game -- rookies -- smh).