clock menu more-arrow no yes

Filed under:

Utah Jazz Jam Session: We hate the Los Angeles Lakers

New, comments

A bit of mostly harmless fun directed at the team with so many rings that doesn't even know we exist

If you buy something from an SB Nation link, Vox Media may earn a commission. See our ethics statement.

Russ Isabella-USA TODAY Sports

It's been such a long time that we did this, but because tonight is another in the on-going one-sided rivalry between the Utah Jazz and the Los Angeles Lakers . . . it was necessary to do one of these. I asked our SLC Dunk contribs a few questions, and we got a few answers. I implore you all to add your own in the comments section too!

Anyway, let's start jammin'

1. What is your favorite Jazz / Lakers moment in history?

Yucca: I loved '88 ... but those Kobe Bryant airballs.

Prodigal Punk: Anytime Greg Ostertag and Shaquille O'Neal matched up. It was like Dwight Howard and Jason Collins, only Shaq got way more mad.

Diana: My favorite moment was the game when Carlos Boozer and Mehmet Okur were out and we KILLED a healthy Lakers team. Maybe 2008? That game AK and Deron Williams clicked better than few times in their careers.

Amar: I really love the game Diana is talking about (Andrei Kirilenko had that great bounce pass to Kyrylo Fesenko for a huge dunk!), but I'm going to go with the Second Round of the Western Conference Playoffs in '88. If I had to pick a single game I would pick Game 2, where the Jazz beat LA on their home floor. The Great Western Forum. That, my friends, was a statement game where this team full of young pups told the Lakers that they weren't intimidated.

2. Write a Haiku about how bad the Lakers are this season

Moni:

Lol lol lol Lakers
Such train wreck, no longer worth
hating. Regardless.

Prodigal Punk:

The Lakers suck bad
The Jazz aren't that much better
Burks is swaggier

Diana:

Kobe Bean is old.
Rudy Gobert is quite tall
Kobe Bean is done.

Amar:

Lakers fans' worry
As Nadir approaches soon
Shaq's a** has a flavr

I cheated a little.

3. Who are your "starting five" of current Jazz players for a theoretical Rap Battle / Dance Contest / "Yo' Momma" Joke conflict?

Prodigal Punk: The Jazz only need Rudy and Enes.

Diana: Rudy Gobert, Trevor Booker, Joe Ingles, Alec Burks and Enes Kanter.
Bench: Elijah Millsap


The rest of the squad is too nice!

Amar: I'd go with Diana's team, but replace Ingles (I can imagine there would be a language / vocabulary barrier in a Yo Momma joke situation) with Elliot Williams. Dude. All he has to do when it's his turn is put his hands on his hips in the Superman pose and say "Hello ladies..." in the Old Spice guy voice. And that's a great dis. He's calling the Lakers "ladies." (That may only be funny to be because I am working on 2 hours of sleep)

Old Spice Elliot Williams

What do you feel Jazz fans? Can you write some Rap battles / Yo' Momma jokes about the Lakers? Or what are your favorite moments from this 'rivalry'? Tell us in the comments section!

Don't forget to sign up for FanDuel, SB Nation's official fantasy sports partner. Here's the link.