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Top 10 things Enes Kanter forgot to pack when he left Utah

This is totally not a serious article, it's satirical in nature.

Joe Camporeale-USA TODAY Sports

Tonight will be the second time that Enes Kanter, the former #3 draft pick of the Utah Jazz, faces his old club in the gym he once considered his home court. The Oklahoma City Thunder center is, well, an erstwhile generational talent who is not exactly setting the league on fire right now. Now, I don't bear the young man any specific ill will beyond that of any visiting player. However, I don't think all Jazz fans will extend the same courtesy tonight. Last season he faced the Jazz in Utah back in March. He played 34 minutes, and a pretty good night. The "Kanterman" finished with 18 points, 11 rebounds, 2 blocks, and 1 assist . . . but left with a loss. I don't really remember him being that effective but the box score doesn't tell a lie here. But it speaks volumes that he had a big game and almost none of us remember it. I can assume that tonight he will want to have a more memorable game against the team he was traded from.

But before we get there, let's go over the 10 things Kanter left in Utah when he was traded:
  • 10. His Jupiter Bowl customer rewards card (only three more games and he gets a free hot dog!)
  • 9. A head coach who would actually put him in the starting line-up
  • 8. Several Jello Molds, he was really into it that summer before the 8-pack pictures.
  • 7. A crudely PhotoShop'd picture of Al Jefferson, but with Enes' face pasted over

Enes Kanter Okay Thunder

  • 6. His three point range and green light to expand his offensive game
  • 5. His framed panoramic picture of the Wasatch Mountain range
  • 4. Intensity to his game like this:

  • 3. Playing time (21.8 mpg this season, only his first two seasons in the NBA had a lower average)
  • 2. Several unsent letters to Burak Özçivit asking for mustache advice

This guy.

  • 1. Team mates who wouldn't just scowl at him, but actually helped him and wanted him to succeed

Okay, jokes aside I hope he has a good game, but the Jazz still win. I would also be okay with him having a bad game and the Jazz winning. There's a common thread here, just get the win against OKC. And yes, it's also the revenge games for Steve Novak and Tibor Pleiss as well, but I don't even know if either will play more than five minutes tonight.

Now, what items did I forget from this list? Tell me in the comments section!