— DeMarcus Cousins (@boogiecousins) June 23, 2015
Honestly, had no idea that Sacramento had that many snakes. But you gotta do, what you gotta do when there's snakes in the grass, or snakes on planes.
With that said, Zach Harper of CBSSports.com has put a scenario of how every team in the NBA could hypothetically make a trade for Demarcus Cousins. This is what he had for Utah, he knows us in Utah all too well.
Can you imagine what Demarcus would do during his first week in Utah? If he's upset now just imagine his adjustment to life in the Beehive State.
Do you wish you could well below average during your first year on the job and still have the confidence to say, "I did a great job!"? Well have no fear, the Phil Jackson School of Ignorance and Confidence is here to make your ineptitude your solitude.
Phil Jackson felt he did a great job during his first year as a general manager. While Dennis Lindsey found great values with Rudy Gobert in the late first round and Raul Neto. Phil Jackson ... well ... Jackson took credit for shedding contracts, but he inherited most of the contracts that are coming off the Knicks' books this summer. He did move J.R. Smith - and his 2016 player option - in a trade with the Cleveland Cavaliers, and Jackson eschewed Raymond Felton's 2016 player option in a trade with the Dallas Mavericks.
But Jackson also added Jose Calderon's contract via the same trade. Calderon is scheduled to make $15.1 million over the next two seasons.
So if you're a man who loves to take credit for falling into someone else's hard work then writing yourself a thank you card, then talk to Phil for pointers.
So for the SBNation Mock Draft Amar pulled the Jazz equivalent of Rick Rolling everybody here at the blog. He D-Will'd us. He D-Will'd all of us.
Yes, his mock drafting privileges have been revoked. If you have angry e-mails you need to write about fake trades that won't occur but still cause you distress, this is the appropriate time to address those to Amar. I feel pretend shame at this fictitious moment in our fake team's history. The imagined thought of Deron Williams make believe returning to an alternate Utah is enough for me to act as though I'm throwing up using a concoction of toothpaste and frozen vegetables to make it appear as though it's real. I hope you all can simulate the sympathy.
In Draft Express most recent mock it looks as though Myles Turner could be landing in Utah.
Though I have made myself the most stalwart of Kevon Looney supporters, Myles Turner is a guy I'd love to see in a Jazz uniform. Though if the Jazz make the trade back and garner a few extra assets, I'd love for Kevon Looney to be the guy we do it for.
Plus someone of that size will benefit from playing alongside Dante Exum. Why? DANTE LOVES TO THROW THE ALLEY-OOP. And thank goodness. It seemed like last year Dante kept pushing to see how far Rudy was willing to go to grab that oop.
So here are my final predictions for Draft Night:
#12 - Myles Turner (If we trade back we will target Hunter. Though I wish the Jazz would target Looney.)
#42 - Used in a trade.
#54 - Traded For Future 2nd Rounder.
There you go. What are your final draft predictions?