Breakfast Discussion

Below is my rendition of the twelve days of Christmas for this year’s Utah Jazz squad. You can probably come up with better lines than I did; if you have any, please share them in the comments below.

• On the first day of Christmas the Jazz sent to me: The best defense in all basketball*
• On the second day of Christmas the Jazz sent to me: Two Australians (or was that French dudes?)**, and the best defense in all basketball
• On the third day of Christmas the Jazz sent to me: A three point shooter***, two Australians, and the best defense in all basketball
• On the fourth day of Christmas the Jazz sent to me: Four sets of twins****, a three point shooter, two Australians, and the best defense in all basketball
• On the fifth day of Christmas the Jazz sent to me: Five frickin injured players*****, four sets of twins, a three point shooter, two Australians, and the best defense in all basketball
• On the sixth day of Christmas the Jazz sent to me: Six Rudy blocks******, five frickin injured players, four sets of twins, a three point shooter, two Australians, and the best defense in all basketball
• On the seventh day of Christmas the Jazz sent to me: Seven international players*******, six Rudy blocks, five frickin injured players, four sets of twins, a three point shooter, two Australians, and the best defense in all basketball
• On the eighth day of Christmas the Jazz sent to me: The Jazz Bear a dunking, seven international players, six Rudy blocks, five frickin injured players, four sets of twins, a three point shooter, two Australians, and the best defense in all basketball
• On the ninth day of Christmas the Jazz sent to me: Nine different lattes********, the Jazz Bear a dunking, seven international players, six Rudy blocks, five frickin injured players, four sets of twins, a three point shooter, two Australians, and the best defense in all basketball
• On the tenth day of Christmas the Jazz sent to me: A top ten offense, nine different lattes, the Jazz Bear a dunking, seven international players, six Rudy blocks, five frickin injured players, four sets of twins, a three point shooter, two Australians, and the best defense in all basketball
• On the eleventh day of Christmas the Jazz sent to me: Eleven coaches coaching*********, a top ten offense, nine different lattes, the Jazz Bear a dunking, seven international players, six Rudy blocks, five frickin injured players, four sets of twins, a three point shooter, two Australians, and the best defense in all basketball
• On the twelfth day of Christmas the Jazz sent to me: Twelve total losses**********, eleven coaches coaching, a top ten offense, nine different lattes, the Jazz Bear a dunking, seven international players, six Rudy blocks, five frickin injured players, four sets of twins, a three point shooter, two Australians, and the best defense in all basketball

* Note: I might be biased

** Note: Explanation probably not needed here (of course these are Jingles and Exum or Diaw and Gobert - whichever version you prefer)

*** Note: Jingles’ 48% clip currently leads the league in 3 point shooting percentage

**** Note: Hayward and Exum each have a twin, and Favors and Jingles both have twins

***** Note: Hayward, Exum, Favors, Hill, and Burks have all logged injury time this year

****** Note: Rudy Gobert blocked 6 shots against the Kings on December 10, 2016

******* Note: Jingles, Exum, Diaw, Gobert, Neto, Lyles, and Bolomboy

******** Note: Obligatory Diaw coffee connoisseur reference

********* Note: Quin Snyder, Johnnie Bryant, Mike Wells, Mark McKown, Antonio Lang, Igor Kokoskov, Alex Jensen, Zach Guthrie, Lamar Skeeter, Jeff Watkinson, and Isaiah Wright

********** Note: This was written on December 22nd; and the hope is that the Jazz win their game tonight (DON’T RUIN MY SONG JAZZ!!!)

Worst Analogy

In last week’s Worst Analogy Championship (Episode 008). There were some great analogies. My favorite stand alone lines from last week were:

“Dumbledore—Gobert, dude is everywhere and a little eratic. Plus I could totally see Gobert showing up naked and not treating it as a big deal, french people amirite?” - mitchdowd24

“The puppets are Bolerjack and Harpring because they’re dopey and might have someone’s hand up their bottom side.” - Chowda

But I am awarding the belt to 15,806 assists for the following analogy:

Naked Dumbledore is the Jazz’s potential, with his wizard robe representing the shroud of injuries that plagues our team and hides our true potential from the world. Snape represents Cleveland fans, first on the scene as the reigning champs, and Harry is the prototypical GSW fan (annoying and cocky). Snape and Potter get into an epic shouting match over who is awesomest, but the Jazz’s naked, unrobed (fully healthy) potential arrives and breaks up their shouting match, with everyone seeing Dumbledore’s junk and realizing that the Jazz can no longer be ignored when discussing the leagues greatest teams. And obviously the pipe-bomb is the Jazz finally winning the championship and obliterating everyone else in a gory display of puppet remains. And we, SLCDunk, are Lord Voldemort, for we will be there after all is said and done, to laugh at everyone else’s complete and utter destruction and sing our song while we stand above their smoking remains.

Ron represents the Timberwolves. And in an odd turn of events, Hermione represents Emma Watson.

Thanks to 15,806 assists; Chowda; mitchdowd24; gubihero; blogden; and Fesenko for President for sharing your insights (if you haven’t read everyone’s analogy, go read them, they’re worth it; Episode 008).

This week’s worst analogy clip is from National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation.

Cap Space

I came across an article this week discussing the benefits of watching your favorite reruns. Since everything that I’ve read about watching TV discusses how TV melts your brain, I found the article interesting.

The article itself is from 2012 and, apparently, a PhD from the University at Buffalo Research Institute on Addictions, found:

watching a rerun of a favorite TV show may help restore the drive to get things done in people who have used up their reserves of willpower or self-control.

"People have a limited pool of these valuable mental resources," explains Derrick. "When they use them on a task, they use up some of this limited resource. Therefore, they have less willpower and self-control for the next task.

"With enough time, these mental resources will return. However, there may be ways to more quickly restore them."

One of these ways is to re-watch your favorite TV show, Derrick's research found. Doing so, she says, taps into the surrogate relationship people form with the characters in their favorite shows. We find it comforting, mainly because we already know what the characters are going to say and do. All we have to do is sit back and enjoy it.

"When you watch a favorite re-run, you typically don't have to use any effort to control what you are thinking, saying or doing. You are not exerting the mental energy required for self-control or willpower," Derrick explains. "At the same time, you are enjoying your 'interaction,' with the TV show's characters, and this activity restores your energy."

After reading this article, logically, I would think this could be applied to watching reruns of your favorite Utah Jazz games (at least that’s my non-PhD logic). So go back and watch your favorite games - it’s good for you! (at least that’s what you can tell your significant other if they are complaining that you’ve watched that game ten times before).

Have a Merry Christmas!