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Gordon Hayward’s sponsor Purple Mattress had a controversy about white powder and boy is it wild.

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In the tradition of great Jazz players with terrible sponsorships, you will not be disappointed.

If you were like me, you very much enjoyed the Utah Jazz’s playoff run. Who doesn’t like 7 game series that go to the last game? And who doesn’t like sending the Clippers packing in the postseason? Not a single soul. But one of the most enjoyable parts of the postseason was the aggressive marketing campaign of one Gordon Hayward’s most unlikely corporate sponsors, Purple Mattress.

If you were anywhere near social media it was impossible to escape their advertisement that featured Gordon Hayward and Joe Ingles (!!!!) in it. One of the best small forwards in the NBA and Gordon Hayward is a winning combination.

It was a great ad at the perfect time. Both Joe Ingles and Gordon Hayward contributed in big ways to the Jazz series win against Clippers and getting all the clicks. It was a win-win. We even fell in love with it. After all, the Utah Jazz were getting publicity!

After the Jazz’s series with the Clippers, my attention quickly moved on from purple tinted mattresses and Ingles’s on-screen chemistry with Gordon Hayward. The focus was on the Warriors series. But one day after the Golden State Warriors vs Utah Jazz series was over in the sweep, I came across something on reddit that piqued my interest.

Long story short, a YouTuber—Honest Mattress Reviews—who reviews mattresses, gave Purple mattress a really good review but had a reservation about the white powder he found on the mattress. The reviewer had a history of asthma so he just wanted to know three things: what is the powder, why is it on the mattress, and is it safe? After asking those questions Purple hit him with a lawsuit suing him for defamation basically saying, “You brought a question about toxicity to AXE SHOTGUN AND KNIFE FIGHT.”

My jaw hit the floor. Seriously, squeeky clean Gordon Hayward, the Gordon Hayward who is constantly prop’d up as the guy who respects the national anthem, the flag, the savior of the franchise, HIS corporate sponsor was going ape**** over some random youtuber asking them what the powder was.

Upon first glance this looked like the Utah based mattress company had lost their damn minds. The reviewer just had an honest question and Purple lost their ish over the powder? Seemed like a crazy escalation. Instead of being like, “It’s definitely not drugs baby powder and it’s safe” or something like that (look I didn’t know what the powder was either), Purple went scorched earth on this seemingly tame mattress reviewer.

Immediately I sided with the mattress reviewer. I mean, who chooses to live their life as a mattress reviewer? The only reason someone would do that is if the plot of Mystery Science Theater 3000 was to be captured in order to review mattresses and not bad movies. “The guys only curious,” I thought. “This big corporate and evil mattress company is trying to put down the little man.”

The conspiracy theorist in me wanted to believe the powder was crazy weird. That while it may not be toxic when inhaled, it was toxic when your skin was exposed to it. Why else would they not disclose it to Honest Mattress Reviews? It’s just a powder, guys. Calm the hell down.

As I searched the internet for more evidence on this Honest Mattress Reviews claim all I could find was Purple Mattress’s PR Team in hyper drive. In my mind I thought their PR Director had lost his mind as if he was living the Me to Me meme but the Also Me and didn’t know it.

Of course this would happen to a Utah Jazz player. Utah Jazz DNA is one part toughness, two parts defensive, and 3 parts bad corporate sponsor. Don’t believe me? Are you wearing L.A. Gears right now? Did you buy NBA Baller Beats? Didn’t think so.

So that was that. Gordon Hayward and Joe Ingles teamed up with an internet based mattress company that had some mysterious white Peruvian bam bam powder in their mattress that may or may not be harmful to your health, but Purple’s only saying it’s okay. I expected to see some PR statement from Gordon Hayward’s camp saying they were no longer associated with Purple and for Hayward/Ingles Purple promo to slyly exit the internet.

BUT THEN CAME THE TWIST.

The question that I just couldn’t shake was why would a savvy company like Purple, an internet based business, would go complete amateur hour on some rando YouTuber. How did they not realize that they’d be the Goliath in this David vs Goliath story? Why would they add napalm to the fire? I didn’t care about the Utah Jazz element to this anymore. I WANTED ANSWERS, MAN.

Some redditor when straight investigative on this story. Someone deep on the thread brought up that they thought the Honest Mattress Review guy worked for a rival company.*

*AT THIS MOMENT WE NEED TO TAKE A TIMEOUT. FOR REAL.

I had no idea the Online Mattress Review Fanbase went this deep. In a world where flat earthers can find like minded idiots, I shouldn’t have been surprised, but still. There are people who follow these things religiously. Like people getting HYPE for these mattress releases.

AND GOD BLESS THE MAN WHO SPENT A HALF HOUR OF THEIR LIFE FIGURING THIS OUT.

MEANWHILE ...

Purple’s PR team goes full peddle to the metal on proving that the powder is safe through 3rd parties.

via Center for Toxicology and Environmental Health, LLC

Has your neck recovered from that double take? It turns out the Honest Mattress Guy was INCREDIBLY incentivized to toss this PR Mario Kart blue shell at the Purple Mattress company and just see what happened.

Meanwhile, Purple played out this PR nightmare much like the Utah Jazz played the LA Clippers in the postseason. In game 1, the series looked like it was over before it started. Purple had a mysterious powder, Gobert went down 15 seconds in. Then a savvy veteran came in and saved the day. Joe Johnson was that guy for Utah, a pack of lawyers and a PR team was that for Purple.

This thing is probably far from over; it has really nothing to do with basketball, the NBA, and only is slightly relatable to Gordon Hayward and Joe Ingles. Who knows Honest Mattress Reviews dude might be legit. Purple Mattress might be legit. I REALLY DON’T CARE. All I care about is it is distracting me from the paralyzing fear that Gordon Hayward might leave the Utah Jazz in free agency. And, really, that’s all I could ask for.