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If the Utah Jazz were The Avengers

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End Game? Wipe out not just half, but all of the NBA

Look, it’s the middle of the summer. The NBA draft is in the rearview mirror. The free agency wave is long gone. Football hasn’t even started. Jazz-relevant news is relatively sparse aside from Donovan Mitchell’s new shoes and his USA Basketball stuff. What better time than a totally serious, completely scientific article like assigning people on the Utah Jazz their Avenger?

First and foremost: NO SPOILERS. I know I’m not the only one that hasn’t seen End Game yet, so please don’t be that guy and ruin it for everyone else. I’ll have the mods throw down ban hammers harder than Thor himself. Ok jk jk, but seriously.

Let’s get to it.

Tony Bradley - Loki

He spends most of his time away from the team, and after all these years you still don’t know what you’re going to get from him. Does he actually belong or not? Will he make a heroic leap to join the other supers, or will his lack of progress prevent such a rise?

Georges Niang - Hawkeye

He may not be the most gifted guy and certainly doesn’t possess the advanced ability of his peers. And a lot of the time he is watching things from afar. But he’ll be there when you need him and he may gain a more prominent role with time. Plus, you can absolutely rely on his long range shooting after making over 40% of his 3’s last season.

Emmanuel Mudiay - Ant Man

He comes to the team with a bit of a checkered past and you don’t really know what to expect from him. Mudiay was a top 10 pick but hasn’t lived up to those expectations so far. He packed a good punch for the New York Knicks last year, averaging nearly 15 points per game. Maybe a release from that basketball prison will change him. He’s looking to improve and work his way into a good team, having sought out the Jazz due to their reputation for developing talent.

Jeff Green - Falcon

This one was fairly easy for me after watching Jeff Green highlights this summer. I know he’s been in the NBA for 13 seasons, but I had no idea how athletic he was! At 32 years old, this guy can still get up and throw down some nasty dunks. I think he’ll spend plenty of time in the air this season with all the extra spacing he’ll have to work with coming from a bad Wizards team.

Ed Davis - Black Panther

He’s kind of remain hidden for most of his career after being a lottery pick back in 2010. But he’s not hidden anymore. He put on an impressive display of talent with the Portland Trail Blazers and did even more for the Brooklyn Nets. He was certainly a sought after free agent. He’s someone that every team in the league could use on their roster. His main role is going to be defending the paint and keeping opposing forces out.

Dante Exum - Winter Solder

He’s back!? Exum has had some unfortunate injuries during his time with the Jazz and it feels like he has been away forever. He’s somewhat of a divisive player among the fanbase as well. But adding his speed and new-found strength to this team could make that long-term investment finally worth it.

Royce O’Neale - Hulk

Honestly, this was Derrick Favors’ spot. But he’ll have to go beast mode in New Orleans now. So I’ve slotted Royce into this role. You might be surprised to know that O’Neale is basically the exact same size as Jae Crowder, weight and everything. With limited power forward depth this season, Royce may be called upon to go Hulk mode and play some 4 a lot of the time. I think he’s up for the challenge.

Joe Ingles - Iron Man

Joe Ingles has played in all 82 games each of the last 3 seasons. And in the 2 seasons prior he played in 79 and 81 games. He is a literal iron man. He can also deliver punishing blows to opposing teams and can be a surprisingly good leader. And don’t forget about his witty humor that gets under his opponents’ skin more often than not. He’s been a vital piece to this core for quite some time now, and that’s not about to change.

Bojan Bogdanovic - Doctor Strange

Bogdanovic doesn’t care if he’s approaching 30 years old, he turned back the clock so-to-speak and delivered the best year of his career anyways. I’m also convinced he looked forward in time to identify the single best route to a championship. And guess where he signed? I think he’s going to fit in perfectly and help everyone else become better.

Mike Conley - Captain America

Is it even possible to not like Mike Conley? I mean, he was even named Teammate of the Year this summer. As a long time captain of the Memphis Grizzlies, he’s looking to contribute to an even bigger cause with the the Utah Jazz moving forward. He may be a little older, but that won’t stop him from being effective. He’s a guy that never quits and is going to provide great veteran leadership to this Jazz squad. He’s going to unlock Donovan Mitchell’s full potential.

Rudy Gobert - Thor

Gobert’s God-like defense has earned him the Defensive Player of the Year award two years in a row. His presence on the court completely changes the back and forth battle of basketball. He throws down hammers offensively, breaking the record for most dunks in a season by a mile. He also sends back shots with a terrifying force. He gives his teammates confidence like few can, you can practically hear them when he checks back in, “Ha! You guys are so screwed now!”

Donovan Mitchell - Spider-Man

Well duh. This is what got the whole post started. Donovan Mitchell’s amazing Spida nickname is quite perfect. As a kid that wasn’t expecting to make it at all, he’s come so much farther than anyone imagined. He also understands the responsibility that comes with his power and fame by remaining a humble, friendly neighbor and trying to take care of the little guys. He’s about to make a huge leap and take the NBA by storm. And I can’t wait.